Singles Ask

19 Dysfunctional Dinners That Will Make Your Thanksgiving Seem Normal

1. Hannibal Lecter’s delicacy of brains

Unless you’re into that.

(The Silence of the Lambs, Thomas Harris)

2. “Food, Glorious Food”

Go ahead, ask for seconds.

(Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens)

3. Kafka’s weight-loss diet

Just don’t have dinner with a hunger artist.

(A Hunger Artist, Franz Kafka)

4. Who cares about manners?

Emma doesn’t.

(Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert)

Nom nom nom. Stanley, that must be finger lickin’ good.

(A Streetcar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams)

6. Uncomfortable conversations

Not down for a heated debate? Run far, far away from this table.

(The Dinner, Herman Koch)

Especially at this table.*

(Revolutionary Road, Richard Yates)
*If Leo’s invited, we could probably bear through it

9. The mad tea party before the dinner party

Does anything matter, Mad Hatter?

(Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll)

10. Wait, there’s food here?

No one actually finishes eating in this story.

(The Discreet Charm Of The Bourgeoisie, screenplay)

11. Everyone loves the food at weddings…

Just not at the “Red Wedding”.

(A Storm of Swords, George R. R. Martin, from the Song of Ice and Fire series)

12. You may want to skip Minny Jackson’s dessert, too

Mmm chocolate pie!

(The Help, Kathryn Stockett)

13. Who invited the ghost?

That awkward moment when the person you had murdered shows up at dinner.

(Macbeth, William Shakespeare)

Ghosts don’t eat much, but they can still cause some dysfunction at a family gathering.

(The Uninvited Guests, Sadie Jones)

15. A hearty meal of children

If you’re a mother, you might want to think again when Titus invites you to his banquet where the secret ingredient is your offspring.

(Titus Andronicus, William Shakespeare)

16. Or perhaps it’s your lover

Is revenge sweet….or savory?

(The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover, screenplay)

17. Blind tasting

You have to do more than sing for your supper when everyone’s blind and a corrupt armed posse gains control over food supplies.

(Blindness, José Saramago)

18. Three-course dinner chewing gum

Eat it and you will turn into a giant blueberry like Violet Beauregarde. “Help!”

(Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl)

19. Post-apocalyptic brunch

There won’t be many dinner parties at the end of the world, so perhaps a can a peaches isn’t all that bad.

(The Road, Cormac McCarthy)

20. You’re not even invited

Look how much fun they’re having without you.

(The Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens)

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