We can cast Ben Affleck as Batman, but we can’t even MAKE a Wonder Woman movie? WHAT IS GOING ON.
1. “She’s a bad role model.”
I’m not going to act like Wondy’s original origin story — you know, the awkward sexist “good woman” secretary bondage one of 1940 — is anything to write home to Gloria Steinem about, but, uhm, it’s been like 70 years since that was a thing.
2. “People want to see an action-packed superhero movie.”
Oh, my bad, I didn’t realize shovel-jawed manhunks had the market cornered on action.
Oh, wait. They don’t.
3. “She’s just not as much of a badass.”
Is this even worth addressing? Do you even pay attention? Are you aware of what greatness you speak?
4. “Wonder Woman doesn’t sell as well as Batman, Superman, or Green Lantern.”
You know what? You’ve got me there. Her individual books don’t, and that’s too bad. She’s consistently been in the top 50 (and higher!) titles since her introduction, though — and Justice League is consistently a best-seller. But that’s weird … I wonder why female-led books don’t appear to sell as well.
THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A DAMN SPACESUIT. IN SPACE.
Can you imagine if men were constantly presented as women are? Imagine no longer! Artists have done that for you.
5. “Wonder Woman just isn’t that iconic.”
Shhh. Shhhhhh. It’s time to stop speaking.
6. “Is Wonder Woman even that interesting as a character?”
Diana Prince comes from an all-woman island, or is the daughter of Zeus, or is the daughter of two women, or is basically a goddess herself, depending on the origin story you’d decide on. Also, she’s (probably) bisexual:
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
7. “MISANDRY. Wonder Woman’s an Amazon! She hates men! She doesn’t even HAVE a dad in one of her bazillion origin stories! IT’S NOT FAIR.”
That misandry sure is some systematically oppressive nonsense, isn’t it? I mean DAMN. At one point this summer you couldn’t even see a movie led by a woman, but one Wonder Woman movie to Superman’s 10 and Batman’s 15 is going to establish a terrible oppressive matriarchy and end the world.*
*Also, Wonder Woman does not hate men, and neither do feminists.
So I think that’s settled, then. Let’s get Joss Whedon to direct it and Gina Torres to star in it. Done and done; good job, team!
Next time someone tries to pull any of these on you, remind them: